Recently, my eldest has been telling me that he wants to go to school. At age 4, with most of his friends attending preschool and some of his shows depicting classroom environments, this is not surprising. We plan to homeschool, and for various reasons, have determined that sending him to a morning preschool program and then bringing him home for kindergarten would not be best for him or my family.
Two years ago when all of his little friends started attending preschool two days a week, it felt like it upended my world. Suddenly, I couldn’t just text my mom friends for last minute play dates. I almost needed a spreadsheet to keep track of what friends were in school what mornings and who had availability at what times.
We found new friends, settled into new routines, and figured things out. Now we are headed into our very last year before starting kindergarten, and it feels like we are doing this again since most of his friends are upping their preschool time to 3-5 days a week in the fall.
Between my newborn, my eldest starting to ask to go to school, and feeling like I need to start friend routines from scratch yet again, I recently began to panic. “What if I’m doing this wrong? What if this isn’t the best choice for our family? What if I can’t actually juggle three kids and running a house in a way that is right for them and our family?”
Then, yesterday morning, my middle child pulled all the kitchen table chairs together, made a bed, and invited her big brother to grab his blanket and play. Their play grew and transitioned, and they played together for hours. I watched them problem solve, work together, imagine, and be immensely creative. My brain started to remember why we choose this way of life over and over again for our family.
This morning I had a small window of time with my eldest before everyone else woke up. We covered three or four fascinating topics that I wish I could remember. I noticed my second born needed some mama time, so I doled a few tablespoons from my cup of tea into her tiny mug, topped it with milk, and invited her to come drink tea and read her Bible with me while I read mine on the couch in my room. We spent sweet minutes together and talked about God being the first and best dad.
I remembered that the mornings are their best time. It’s when their brains are rested and the most active, and they’re the least prone to arguing. Mornings are also when the life routines they most need to learn through observing happen in our home.
And in the midst of piles of laundry, wondering what we would eat for lunch, and trying to find a place to step without breaking a toy (or my foot), I chose again. This is the life I want, and the life I choose for now. It’s what is best for our family for now so we will keep going.
“These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home, when you walk along the road, when you lie down, and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses, and on your gates.” Deuteronomy 6:6-9 (The Rebecca Memory Version)
*This post was brought to you by one hand while the other was holding a nursing newborn.